Joey

formspring.me

2011-12-08T17:54:00.001+08:00

Ask me anything http://www.formspring.me/joeyxueyi

Idiot

2011-09-14T22:19:00.001+08:00

"Idiot" is not used for scolding anyone, it actually represents someone important to me. Yes you.

It's a pity that we've all changed. Things could've been different if you were still here. I miss the old you, the old me, the old us.

2011-09-08T05:44:00.002+08:00

I have't blogged for ages, I doubt anyone ever enters this space anymore. But all the better, I can rant here!

I can't get used to poly life despite being in a poly for a semester already. Maybe I'm just anti-social or hard to approach, I don't know. I don't have any new friends and that really sucks, I have no one to count on. Someone actually told me that she's envious of me cuz I seem to be able to do everything alone in school. But if I was given a choice, I'd rather not be alone.

Three quarter of 2011 had already passed, time flies doesn't it? Within this 9 months, a lot of things happened. I got to know some people and I lost some people too. Got a boyfriend, broke up, and suffered a huge setback. Too many things happened, I'm no longer the Joey I once was. The Joey now can't trust, she's suspicious of everything and everyone. But it may not be a bad thing afterall, maybe this way I can protect myself better.

I have just way too much feelings bottled up inside of me, and it seems like I can't let anyone know. I've lived for close to 17 years now, and yet I feel like I haven't achieved anything. I feel like a failure, I failed in everything. I love the wrong people, trust the wrong people and all I ever did was end up hurting myself. I can't believe that the number of friends that I have can be counted with just less than 10 fingers. Yes I know, quality over quantity.

Can't help but feel insignificant all the time. I keep wondering, just what haven't I done enough? I've really tried my best, and now I'm exhausted I just wanna give up. No one ever understands, no one ever notices. I N S I G N I F I C A N C E. Everyone around me just know how to say I'm emo, but have they ever tried to understand why am I behaving this way? NO. Who enjoys spending everyday in tears when she can just smile? But you know what? I can't. So what if I can be happy today, happiness is short-lived, it does NOT last. I hate to be happy, each time I'm happy I ask for more, I would hope that the happiness lasts forever. But the harsh reality says no. What can I do? NOTHING.

I care for almost everyone I know, including those I hate. It's just me. But what hurts me is that, people whom I care about the most, are actually the one hurting me. People just don't understand, just because you've known each other for a long time, it doesn't mean that you can say mean things and expect the other party to not be hurt. It doesn't work that way. You may say, it's just my 'character', but so? It doesn't give you the rights to be so selfish.

Y'know what's loneliness? It's when you're with a crowd and yet you feel all alone.

I keep telling myself that things would get better, but maybe I should stop lying to myself. Unhappy things just happen over and over again. Tired, really am. If I could, I wouldn't want to care about the feelings of people around me. I would've done what makes me happy. But I know I can't be so selfish.

I've lost so many people, I wish they would come back to me but they won't. All of them left, without saying anything. I know it'd happen again, but I don't wish to get used to it.

Stop living for others and start living for yourself. I don't wish to spend my whole life thinking of ways to make others happy and end up hurting myself.

2010-09-21T23:49:00.005+08:00

Heyy hello hiiii! I know I haven't been blogging cuz I've been really busy, and of course, I'm still busy. Previously was D&T. & HELL YEAH, COURSEWORK IS OVERRRR! ;D ;D ;D You can't possibly understand the joy unless you take D&T. All the afternoons spend in the school, days after days, weeks after weeks, months after months. But of course, in the end, it was all worth it. They are my blood, sweat, tears, heart and soul! Do miss D&T at times though ):

& now, I'm busy with O's. Studying every single day, I see my books more than seeing myself in the mirror. & I'm obssessed with studying, I love to study. It's the sense of accomplishment~ All the staying up, I know it'll all be worth it. (: I don't mind sacrificing my sleep and play, just to receive that results slip, with my desired marks. I'll definitely cry tears of joy and jump around like a small kid who just got a candy.

& also, I'm struggling between choosing where to go after Secondary School. Poly, or JC? Been aiming for Poly all these while, and recently, I'm contemplating to enter JC. But, I'm still in dilemma. Which to go? & I'm in just dilemma, thanks to Singapore's education system. Oh well, shan't say much about it.

Time check:12am. Gonna get back to my books (:

34 more days to O's, and 50+ days to FREEDOOOOOMMMM! ;D

2010-07-25T02:40:00.002+08:00

Time check: 2.40 am

I'm tired and hungry! Gonna sleep soon I guess.

Been so busy with school, thanks to D&T. I reach home at almost 7pm everyday, or even later. Just hope that coursework's gonna end soon so I don't have to be so stressed up. & thanks to D&T, I haven't done anything revision, and Prelims are coming!

Still don't have the motivation to study either, dannngggg! I'm gonna get myself into trouble man. But, I wna do well for D&T and POA because of * . HEHEHEHE. MUST DO WELL! :D

Kayy, i shall go sleep already! GOODBYE!

2010-07-09T22:44:00.002+08:00

Hai hai hai hai hai! :D I am getting so bored and my sickness is getting on my nerves. I've been sick for three days and I HATE TAKING MEDICINE.. Actually its because I'm lazy..

& because I'm sick, I'm not allowed to go near Jowen! SAD x3247832754892759375489 well, i dont wna infect him either ): , i have to sleep in the living room tonight... . i sleep ALOT! But im really tired. Esp, after medicine's effect. Ouhh, i have been self-medicating for THREE DAYS. If i dont get well by tmr, i'll prolly see a doc.

Hmm, so lets see whats wrong w me. I have sore throat, cough, nose feels uncomfortable at times, random headaches, fever going up and down, ear infection=pain, cramp= pain x2, I SLEEP ALOT! OMG. I know many are jealous.. but well IM SICK!

I can go die alrdy -.- all the pain and sickness all come at once! HELL!

Kay, im gonna sleep soon. byebyeeeee.

2010-07-05T22:29:00.002+08:00

HI HI HI HI HI :D

I haven't been bloggin cuz I'm so busy, okay thats a lie, actually i'm too lazy :X Mega Concert: Symphony Of Colours was mega awesome! Esp the Lady Gaga remix by TAG and those dance performances. GOOD JOB! ;D

I'm sick now, great! Swollen eyes few days back, now sore throat. Best uhh. I'm glad that there isn't school today! (: The flu bug within me is making me sleepy, i'll sleep soon.

Ouh, and i met Evelyn and Bryan for awhile just now. It was so funny! Hahaha.

Goodbye loves (:

2010-06-27T21:00:00.002+08:00

I've been wanting to blog, but did not what to blog about! But i better blog now, otherwise I won't have any chance ): School's gonna reopen tomorrow, and its back to my sec4 life. REMEDIALS TEST REMEDIALS TEST REMEDIALS NIGHT STUDY PROGRAMME. Jeesh, totally can die luhh. But well, few more months.. AND PARTY EVERYDAY! ;D

Guess I won't be online so frequently after today.. ): Feel free to text me @ 918823*9 HEHEHE ^^

O's gonna be my top priority from tomorrow onwards, no more only play and whatev shit. STUDY OKAY STUDY!!!

Bye.

With love, Joey.

2010-06-19T15:23:00.002+08:00

Heyy 'Sky', I'm sorry I broke my promise. You know I couldn't help it right? Don't ever ignore me okay? & be back soon, I know you'll see this. Xoxo.

The sky, moon and star

2010-06-18T03:27:00.003+08:00

There was this once that the star shined so brightly, just slightly brighter than the moon. But the moon eventually outshined this star. What happened to this star? It fell into a corner and it could no longer shine. All it ever does is blink, and its only blinking so dimly. The sky sees this star for a moment, and the next, the star disappears. The moon is just too bright, so bright that the sky don't even notice this blinking star. This blinking star is forever blocked by the moon and the many other bright stars. No matter how hard this star tries no shine, no one ever noticed this star. It just fell, further and further away from the sky. Each time the sky attempts to come nearer, it'll see the moon and forget about the star, and thats when the star falls even deeper. The sky and the star are just too far apart, the sky and star can never be together. Even though the moon's with the sun, the star knows how badly the sky wants the moon and how tightly the sky is holding the moon. The star never stopped trying to shine and climbed back up, but no matter how hard this star tries, it falls. Even harder and further than the previous falls. Even though the sky said that it'll hold onto the star, the star knows that there's no place for it. It exists, but because its blinking, it never feels its existence. The sky said it'll hold onto the star, and that it'll come nearer, but when that day comes, would the star have already disappeared?

We will see if the sky and star will be together one day.

Tired of being a hypocrite

2010-06-17T00:20:00.004+08:00

I slept at 830am and woke up at 11am for school! If JinHan hadn't called me, I doubt I'll wake up. Needless to say, I was tired like.. HELLL.... Dark eye circles were out and I looked like a giant panda. Maybe I can be Kungfu panda? ^^ Okay, i know i'm crazy.

Went back for workshop and i did.. NOTHING :D Okay, i know i deserve to die. But i was way too tired, I don't wanna lose a finger you see. Okay, BULLSHIT.

I survived without breakfast and dinner, I ate a Mcwing meal and barely touched the fries. Yez, so rare I know. I gonna try surviving with a meal a day cuz qr said i grew fatter!!!! UGHHHH.

I should stop being a hypocrite. So tired of being so fake. Why am I making myself so unhappy to please you? I'm not gonna fucking care anymore.

Msn conver:( Lets name this person S)

S: Your house can swim?
Me: My house cannot, downstairs swimming pool can :D
S: Same lahh.
Me: Not same, how can the pool be in my house!?

HAHAHAHA!

2010-06-15T14:53:00.002+08:00

You might see this or maybe you won't. I thought you'd help end my agony, but y'know what? You made me feel worse than before. I told you everything.. Maybe you were trying to help, but words you said stab me real hard, like a dagger, a million times. Times have changed, we both changed. I appreciate what you've done. But things are no longer the same.

2010-06-14T23:51:00.002+08:00

Haven't been updating blog cuz my life's pretty mundane recently. My holidays sort of started already, but soon it'll be gone. Not forgetting I still have to go back for D&T workshop. I have no confidence in my artefact at all manz ): Ugh.

Ouh, I went out for pool last night with Jinhan and Eve, then came James and 2 other friends. Well.. It wasn't very interesting thou. Kinda looking forward to the karaoke session coming up! ;D

Actually I'm thinking of privating my blog so I can talk bad about anybody and hurl all kinds of vulgarities as I like, cuz others won't be able to view it. Still considering..

Yeah whatever, you're right and the whole world's wrong. HAPPY?!

2010-06-09T22:16:00.002+08:00

I cannot deny that I miss you. But I bet you don't care a single bit about me. I am still living in own world, thinking that I meant something. Still remember I used to call you idiot? Okay, shut up Joey. He doesn't care. I remembered everything you told me, but they were all bullshit. Things have changed, i must learn to accept it.

I'll blog again when I have the time to. (:

2010-05-29T02:12:00.002+08:00

Hehehahahoho. Okayy, I have nothing better to doooo~ I didn't want to blog but I.AM.SO.BORED. Time check:2.17am and i reached home not long ago. HAHAHAHA! & wanna know what I've been doing? Its best if you don't know though.. So i shall not disclose..

Okay, I've been so lifeless and whatever. I have nothing to do everyday. I only sleep, eat, watch then sleep again -.- So people please ask me out, no matter whether you know me or not, we're close friends or not. JUST ASK ME OUT MANZ, or I am gonna die from lifeless-ness soon, and I'll turn into a nerd and I'll join PengLe. But thats good, then I'll top Singapore O's :D But c'mon, you don't wanna see a nerd Joey right? I DON'T CARE JUST AGREE WITH ME!! ^^

Oh, & I was with Janice and Evelyn at first, and saw Intan and Skye at BedokMacs, went to Whitesands/DowntownEast at 10plus? Hoho. I am so lifeless pls, omfg. Just kill me luhh.

Okay, I needa sleep.

P.s: I think I'm happy without you. But no matter what takecare of yourself. Even though it was a short 2months, it actually felt like forever. Was it because there was too much pain?

Peace.

2010-05-26T21:57:00.002+08:00

Alright, I did it. & I have no idea why am I so sad. Well, he doesn't give a whopping damn fuck. I am sad, but I know I'll be fine. He's the one whom I had loved so much, and the one who had made me hate so much. He's also the one who made me the happiest, and the one who broke my heart the most. Now he's the one who made me forget how to love and I can't move on because of him.

2010-05-23T01:10:00.002+08:00

I'm not a fan of kpop or anything korean, but after watching 是美男啊, I'm so in love with Lee Hong Ki. He's like super cute and hot, I love his hair. (: & I think he haven't gone through any plastic surgery. Or maybe yes? Idkkk. But he's so cute! You guys should go watch the show and you'll know why I said so. I finished 16episodes at one go. LOL! I LOVE LEE HONG KI! ♥

2010-05-18T23:33:00.001+08:00

Been so reluctant to go to school, probably because of some people I don't wanna see/face. One thing for sure, my temper is getting worse. But well, get used to it (: Getting back results tomorrow, I don't have any feelings about it, idk what to do. Idk how I'll fare. I'll probably cry like a pathetic bitch by then, but once again who can i blame but myself? Okay, i have nothing else to say.

Peace.

2010-05-17T21:48:00.002+08:00

Wow exams are over! ;D But I can assure you that the stress ain't over. ): We just have to keep on studying and studying till like November? & thats when the stress will really be over. However, I'm just gonna persevere and keep on working hard AND STOP PROCRASTINATING OR SLACKING! GO JOEY CHOO XUE YI!!!! YOU CAN DO IT! :D :D :D

Dnt is gonna be over in a month's time, just another month of hardwork and this huge load will be OFF! (: YAY! I'm gonna be happy from today onwards. Nobody's gonna say I'm emo anymre!

Its been almost a year and i guess its time to let go. We were never meant to be together at the start. We live in almost two different worlds, being together would only cause us more hurt. So from today onwards, I'm not gonna step into your world and you're not gonna step into mine. This way, we will both be happy. I concentrate on my studies and you do whatev you want. Today onwards, I'm Joey and you're just a passerby in my life. Because of you, I learn how to handle lies and hurt better. In a way, thank you and goodbye.♥

PEACE ♥

2010-05-09T17:55:00.005+08:00

Make a guess, what is the thing in blue? ;D

Toy? Nyehhhh

One clue: It can grow taller O:

Still don't know?

ITS A LAMP! (:

Haha so cute right. It comes in 3 colours, blue green and pink from More Than Words. My mom bought it, and I'm gonna pester her for one too!

I just wasted 3quarter of a day by doing NOTHING. I so totally deserve to die. But I'm really reluctant to do D&T ): ONE MORE WEEK AND EXAMS ARE OVERRRR. WOOHOOOOO. BUt before that day comes, i still have to study study and study! D: SAD UHH

Okay, I shall continue to waste abit more time then I'll study. (:

2010-05-07T22:47:00.004+08:00

So handsome right? :D

Hey all, I'm addicted to blogging ;D

Ugh, killer papers next week. Math and Science. & one good news is, I didn't study today. Yay, congrats to myself.

I CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS WEEK TO BE OVERRRR! Then i can meet *ahem*, even though I don't know if things will turn out fine but its better than to leave it hanging like that right? Hope things are gonna turn out fine.

My nail hurts like hell, I think its gonna fall off anytime. DAMN PAIN! Ughh. Okay, now I'm hungry.. My mom is going out to eat when its 11pm already -.- she must be so hungry too. I have to wake up at 7plus AM tomorrow ): Omg, my beauty sleep. But what to do, ITS ALL BECAUSE OF EXAMS. Ughhhh.

Aaahhh, I want a green hoodie ): or maybe a grey one ;D WHEN'S MY MOM GONNA BUY IT FOR ME D:

Okay, I have to go look after my bby brooooo (:

Different soul

2010-05-06T15:48:00.002+08:00

I am so tired, tired of life!

All the frustrating papers are over already, but the scary papers are next week. Maths and Science, daaaamnnn.

I've been so not me. I can't concentrate studying or even when doing my papers. I get super distracted. Its like there's alot in my mind yet nothing comes out. I end up writing rubbish. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME! I thought POA was rather easy, but i think i fcking screwed the paper _|_ HOW! I've lost all confidence, idk what to do now! Somebody help me? ):

SIGHHHHH.

& you, don't worry. I'm not gonna bother you anymore, I'm not gonna fucking appear infront of you anymore. HAPPY?

Daddy, I love you.

2010-05-03T22:02:00.003+08:00

I feel so guilty, i feel so unfilial.

I used to hate my dad alot, always looking forward to the day of leaving this family. But I realised I was wrong. It wasn't my dad who's unreasonable, but its all my fault. Only till now then did i realise my mistake. He is so nice to me and yet I'm always taking advantage. The only thing i know how to do is argue back, quarrel with him and always asking money from him. This weekend alone I've already taken about $50. It may seem like no big deal to most of you, but it means alot to me.

Daddy, I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for always breaking my promise, I'm sorry for disappointing you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I would apologise a million, a billion, or even infinite times. I'm really sorry. You've been the one raising me and yet I never learnt to appreciate you till now, its been 15years. I'm really sorry.

& last of all, daddy I love you and I'm sorry for all I've done. I will try my best to do well, no matter how tired i am and no matter how much I feel like giving up. Thank you daddy for everything.

I'm really afraid I can't do it, but i have to, no matter what it takes.

2010-05-02T20:38:00.002+08:00

Hey all ;D i'm currently blogging use JinHan's laptop @JinHan's house, haha just kidding xD i'm @WhiteSands's SuperDog and JinHan's currently peeping at some army guys. Eeyewwwww, he's peeping at me blogging but he never bothers to tag. What an ass. But well, its thanks to him that i can blog. ;D

Okay i just said "fuck you" very loud, i feel so uncouth. IT IS JINHAN'S FAULT! There's a group of ahbengs smoking outside, YUCKS. JinHan asked to blog in an ahlian way -.- "jinhan shuo yao blog ah lian ahlian de ley." I CANNOT STAND AHBENGS -.-

I'm supposed to be doing my D&T research but well.. temptation ~ I finally transferred money for payment of my contact lens, so happy. & daddy sponsored ;D YAYAYAYAAY!

Okay.. I shall go study and maybe 'admire' the ahbengs out. Haha, bye all! (:

When there is love, there is pain

2010-04-27T18:59:00.003+08:00

Above are the pictures taken on Sunday @ kbox whilst celebrating ShiHui's birthday! (:

School was fine today!
Lets start with what happened in the morning...

This stupid auntie banged me because she was so kiasu and afraid that she'd not get onto the bus, & she stared at me WHEN SHE WAS THE PNE WHO BANG-ED INTO ME! Like wtf siah.

Lessons were still alright, sleepiness did not creep in until late afternoon and it was terrible. Had oral time-keeping after school and its rather good as i managed to get some work done and also as a form of revision.

7days to MYE and i haven't started on revision. Great! & did i mention that MsSoh literally dragged me from the 4th level to the 2nd? Haha. She said I had to do well for SS or she's never gonna talk to me. & she said I look chao ahlian but actually I'm hardworking. ( I'm not hardworking!) haha. I love MsSoh, she's nice & she loves us ;D So i must do well in SS and not let her down!

2010-04-27T18:43:00.001+08:00

Happy Birthday Syahrin aka Coconut! ;D
You're 16! Legal to ahemahem. *winks* HAHAHA!

All the best in everything you do and stay happy.

C.O.C.O.N.U.T! (:

Lovers on weekdays

2010-04-26T17:41:00.002+08:00

This tiny space @cameandgone.blogspot.com is somewhere for me to rant and express my anger and unhappiness.

I wonder why I've been so unhappy, what am I doing to myself? I sort of MIA-ed on friday, I'm sorry to worry some of my friends, & I'm fine! Read my blog more often and you'll know more about me.

The person who seem to care about the most is actually the one who makes me upset MOST of the time. But what can I do, all I can is to tolerate so that we will not quarrel, but its making me very unhappy. You like to jump to conclusion, you like to sing a opposite tone of mine, you like to appear to be nice to the whole world, you like to think you're forever right, you like to overreact over things that have NOTHING to do with you. Let me ask you, WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING ALL THESE? You're causing alot of unhappiness in me, one moment i think we're fine, the next i get upset over same thing over and over again. But let me tell you, its time I had enough. You just got me thinking, "what are friends for?"

Sometimes its really better to be alone.. I have a so called bestfriend who puts on a mask infront of me, make up stories and tell me lies. I USED TO trust him alot, really alot. But now the moment I see him, it breaks my heart. I am so disappointed, I really didn't think he'ld be such a person. & the best is, he treats me as a stranger. Great!

Why does everyone have such a fck-ed up character? I may not have the best character in the world, but I'm sure before i do/say anything, I'll make sure I'm not gonna hurt anyone. But how's everyone treating me? Not a single one thinks about my feelings, its all talk and no actions. What is wrong with this world?

Sometimes I do not understand why I'm doing these, tomorrow & I'll have to act like nothing happened and be happy. Sometimes I ask myself, " for what? " but I never get an answer.

I feel so lost. I don't like this feeling. I don't like to quarrel with people I love. I don't like heaven being so unfair. I don't like life. I don't like school, I don't like studies. I don't like being upset. I don't like to keep thinking of ways to die when I can't. I don't like how people judge me, especially people who matters to me. I don't like to keep all my unhappiness within me. I don't like to cry. I don't like to be unable to cry when I'm hurting alot. I don't like to be unhappy but I can't help it. I don't like to behave like an idiot to make people happy. I don't like people to lie to me. I don't like people to not trust me. I don't like the kind of person I am. I don't like to me borned in this world. I don't like how people treat me. I don't like not having the courage to do something. I don't like to be such a failure. I HATE LIFE AND I HATE MYSELF, ALOT.

2010-04-20T22:54:00.002+08:00

I totally deserve to die for being so fickle minded, and because of that I'm unknowingly making use of people! Its really time I learn to cherish things and not ask for so much. But how do i start? Its not something I can control. & there is something wrong w me, i no longer know how its like to really love someone. The kind of feeling when you just wnna be around him no matter what, be texting him 24/7, the one who makes you heart skip a beat. THEY NO LONGER EXIST IN MY LIFE. FTS! Did my heart choose to shut all love out, or is there something wrong w me? It may be a good thing though, for at least i won't be hurt anymore.

P.s: Why do someone whom I've never met before cares about me more than you, who claimed that you love me?

2010-04-19T22:06:00.003+08:00

I know you love me & I know you care. But have you ever thought that you're using the wrong approach? Instead of making me feel loved, you make me feel worse than an animal. You know I never wanted things to turn out this way, & i'm still that little girl like before. Don't force me to do things that I do not like, you don't want me to hurt you or myself. So please, think before you speak. I'll appreciate it. Love you like always. ♥♥♥♥♥♥

2010-04-17T23:12:00.001+08:00

Study trip today was very successful! ;D

On a side note...:

We both have to put in more effort to make this relationship work. But i think its too late, i can feel that you're gonna leave me. If it really happens, I don't know what i'll do. But if it makes you happy, then go ahead, its not the first time, i can take the pain. Perhaps it was already a mistake, from the moment i knew you..

2010-04-16T19:57:00.004+08:00

I shall declare my hates:

Kim******(s)

Guys who say and there's no action.

Pink! Because K******** uses that bag(only that shade of pink cuz i love hot pink)

Liars

People who put on a pretense to seek attention

I am so angry! :@ What the hell is wrong with guys, yes.. GUYS! They have something very wrong with their character, they lie, they make up stories, they say they'll do it, but the actions NEVER appear! Just fuck it luhh.

& I AM VERYVERY DISAPPOINTED, cuz i trusted you SO MUCH, and you lied to me time and time and time again! I trusted you no matter what the others say, but all you did was to BETRAY MY TRUST. Seriously, just fuck off and die. _|_

I AM SO FULL OF ANGER AND HATRED. Isn't it tiring to think of lies?

Friends

2010-04-15T23:24:00.002+08:00

What are good friends/ best friends for ?

You know who you are. & yes, you claim to be my goodf/bestf, and yet you tell others bad things about me, lie to me, make up stories in front of me. Then i have to question you, for fuck you did all that ? All I have to say is, i'm so disappointed in you. I never thought that you'd do such a thing. Thanks alot of being my 'FRIEND'!

P.s: Not referring to only one person.

2010-04-14T23:23:00.003+08:00

I wanna get a tattooooooooo. Either collarbone or wrist. ;D * JOEY, STOP DREAMING!*

Okay, back to reality.

So heaven's being a btch, by not letting me get what I want! & i escaped death multiple times. Either lorry or car. -.- 2more steps, I WOULD HAVE BEEN KNOCKED DOWN BY THE LORRY WHICH WENT AT FULL SPEED DESPITE THE RED LIGHT! Its a pity I couldn't react fast enough to get its plate number down!

Ear infection on the left healed, and now the right's infected. Woo congrats to myself! -.-

MIDYEAREXAMS are coming and I haven't started revision, I DESERVE TO DIE! I have to do better than * I am so not gonna lose to *. It may be wrong to compare with one another but isn't that what gives us motivation? So its overall something good huh.

Oh and to people who dislike/hate me:

It doesn't really bother me whether you like me or not. For one thing I can be sure, I don't like you either ;D it will be good for you to be out of my life. For atleast, I do not pretend to be someone i'm not, PRETEND to be someone nice ( wait, actually I AM NICE ;D ) , PRETEND to like someone when I don't, PRETEND to be okay with everything. So don't like me? Go ahead, doesn't bother me a single bit.

& for people who think i look fierce:

I AM NOT FIERCE! I just appear to be a little scary cuz i don't like to smile, but i definitely mean no harm unless you offend me. & i'm a little anti-social, but i'm trying to be friendly!

If you're my friend, you'll know what i mean :)

I can't help but wonder my importance to you. When will the day that you change come? When can I really trust you? When can you stop being that jerk?

2010-04-12T19:38:00.004+08:00

Don't ask me where's my tagboard, I'll put it back up soon (:

Meanwhile lemme show you guys some pictures of tattoos that i like! :

2010-04-03T22:22:00.001+08:00

2010-03-28T00:11:00.002+08:00

Haven't been blogging for like veryveryvery long, but well. I think I'm at the worse point of my life now. I don't really how to handle it, but I know I'll be fine. Studies are giving me a lot of stress, I can't wait for O's to be over & PARTY EVERYDAY! Career Guidance Talk on Friday, it got me thinking and made me feel like getting into a Junior College. But will I be able to get in and will I be able to cope with JC life?

I think I'm not gonna sleep, cuz I do not dare to do so. I shall do homework all the way & see if I'll survive. MYE in about a month's time. OH NO! & I made a bet w JinHan, IM GONNA DO BETTER THAN HIM! & I'm gonna ace D&T!

Mm, I shall go shower & do my homework. Bye everyone and all the best in life! :D

2010-03-17T17:20:00.003+08:00

I miss Joey, cause she's currently at Bangkok and she ps me ): Now nobody pei me slack and study when Evelyn and Jh is busy with amath. ): ): ):

2010-03-13T20:33:00.003+08:00

I realised, you can never really know someone. What you see and & hear about that person may not be the whole truth. You should just be silent and listen to whatever people say, do not believe everything cuz it may not be the whole truth. Even if they are the ones you love...

They may tell you everything, but it may just be one side of the story, maybe they're at fault too, but they just do not mention.

I wanna know, what you are thinking. I really don't know how to make this work. It just troubles me so much. What do you want? You know you are important to me, but why do so many things that hurt me?

2010-03-10T21:19:00.002+08:00

I haven't been blogging for donkey years! I'm actually considering to close down my blog, but should I ? School's been the same, results are improving. I THINK SO.

Mass CIP on Sunday @ ToaPaYoh and i met L :) Heaven's will :x But well, whats yours will be yours, whats not will never be yours. I only raised $40.90 for President's Challenge. I suck!

Principal came in to talk to our class today, & i think she's ridiculous although she's partially right. Don't look down on us, i'm gna score straight A's for O Levels, then i'll throw the cert in your face! :D

I'm having flu & bad headache, my nose even bled last night! Been such a long time since that happened man.

I'm gonna fly away on Sunday. Miss me! :)

2010-02-24T00:01:00.000+08:00

Major breakdown

2010-02-01T22:47:00.002+08:00

( PICTURES! :D )

I know I haven't been blogging. I don't have the time, I don't even have enough time to sleep! Headaches are getting from bad to worse. I had a splitting headache & I was so tired, I could no longer tolerate and slept in class. I am the kind who NEVER sleeps in class.

I.NEED.A.BRAIN.CHECKUP. I think I'm gonna die, yes? no? I think MsSoh is very nice & funny, whats contradicting is, I see her every morning but i do not talk to her cause she looks very fierce.

I'm going to sleep. Bye whoever's reading this now.

2010-01-20T21:41:00.002+08:00

School life is seriously killing me. I don't even have time to have proper sleep. Everyday's routine is wake up go to school, study study study, after school continuing doing the same thing, back home @ night, study further more if I have the time & go to sleep. The next day I wake up go to school & it goes on and on and on...

I need a breather! I've been having headaches everyday & I'm losing my memory. How should I put it? Things that happened few minutes ago, I'll just forget. Like today, Qr asked me a poa ques, i answered her, after awhile i looked @ the ques and I actually did not know how to do! & I asked her the same question again.

Whats wrong? I'm really worried. What if I have brain cancer or anything like that? *touch wood* But sigh, this is killing me. I cannot study properly with such headaches, I'm gonna turn crazy. Somebody help me please.

Just took a break to come online, blog & such, will be going offline soon to do my D&T. Omggggg. I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO DO OXIDATION STATE, HOW!?!?

Okay, fuck it, I don't know why you're treating me like this. I am sad, but I know I'm gonna get over it.

P.s: I do not understand why must guys always resort to violence.

Did I mention I cannot stand a day not seeing my babybrother? He's already 8months old :)

2010-01-15T20:54:00.003+08:00

Haven't been blogging for quite a long time. Been so busy with school work, I hardly have enough sleep! & so, Sec4 life is so tiring and stressful. but then again, we just have to work hard this 9-10 months and then get good results.

I still have tons of homework to finish up, but I'm so tired. So I'll probably do it tomorrow. Currently @ Jurong, grandmother's house.

Any idea how much i hate you now? I never wanna see you again. I thought you were different, but I was wrong.

2010-01-07T18:07:00.003+08:00

School has been awesome. I enjoy going to school alot actually, because I have the two most awesome teacher as my form and co-form teacher. MrToh, & MsDiana. You should have seen how happy I was on that day. I shouted "YES!" when MrToh announced that MsDiana is our co-form.

Pretty much sucked when I lost my wallet on the second day of school -.- pissed me off. MY WALLET. Its the first time in my entire life y'know.

Getting pretty much stressed up cause of O's. Teachers made it sound like there are very limited time, which is very true. I'm gonna die. D&T coursework gonna start next week too. Have to put in alot of effort and such.

Will be sleeping for awhile then wake up to study and do my homework.

Fellow Sec4 students, work hard for O Levels and all the best. Let's work towards our straight A's! ;D

2010-01-02T00:43:00.008+08:00

I know I haven't been blogging for years, but well... Does anyone even bothers reading? Tell me you do by tagging! TYVM :D And I'm so lazy to blog I wouldn't be blogging if Janice didn't ask me to.

28th was farewell for Katie :( Mok, take care of yourself when you're there, i'll miss you. I'll forever remember you as part of AWT! :D Remember what it stands for? ^^

Met Qr, Wx and Janice for a swim later in the night. Since then, I haven't been going out w my friends ):

Oh and it was Weian (piggy)'s birthday.Happy Birthday :D I wished him on the day itself already :) [ I wonder if he'll even see this ._.]

Oh, and i thought 30th was the last day of 2009.

31st went to Orchard Hotel for dinner. I'm not very sure where that place is. Dinner at Tony Romas with Auntie's family. And it cost a bomb! $3xx Headed over to Taka to shop and I finally got my bolster! :)

1st day of 2010 was spent ... Woke up in the morning and went to Crystal Jade for dimsum, then reached home around idk what time. Watched tv, lunched then I WENT BACK TO SLEEP. Arond evening went downstairs for some party organised by the condo. I would say it's not bad actually. Food was average, the magic show was fine too. But I didn't get to participate in the lucky draw :( I WANT THAT IPOD NANO/ IPOD TOUCH ):

Here I am blogging, with a damned headacheeee. School's gonna start in 2days, gonna have to start working hard already. Olevels ): Hope I don't get killed by stress.

Some random study date, I forgot which date was it.

I know I look fcking retarded. I was doing stupid actions, qr was taking pix of herself, but somehow she ended up taking my stupid actions and not herself -.-

Pretending to be a ghost <:

Christmas Eve.

Qr was very happy we occupied the whole row of seats.

Wx, qr, me

Me, James.

Qr, me, wx

Pic taken at today's party in my condo.

Taken from my house ( zoomed in, but can you guess which level i'm staying at? :D )

Magician getting in and out of the huge balloon. He even performed magic tricks in it, awesome.

Temporary tattoo that i got in Bkk, there's something wrong w it. Can you spot whats wrong? :)

BYE EVERYONE!

2009-12-26T22:46:00.002+08:00

I know I haven't been blogging and I've been back from Bangkok since like forever. But.. blogger doesn't allow me to upload pictures and I'm so pissed off.

This year's christmas was fun! Went to 2Dawn on Christmas Eve with Jinhan, James, Cliff, Wayne, Qiurong, Weixuan. It was fun on the overall except the part on having to look after drunkards -.- Homed around 5 in the morning.

On christmas itself, i went to catch " Alvin And The Chipmunks 2" with family. It was awesome. I love Theodore ttm, he's so cute! Had some small family gathering at night. Then Janice, QiuRong, WeiXuan and Cliff came over to slack. I was so tiredddd. For like 2 hours I sat there looking at them play Daidi, thats like stupid -.-

I woke up like 2plus in the afternoon cause I was so tiredddd. Went to Tampines Mall in the evening, Ajisen for dinner. Reached home awhile ago.

I need tags!

2009-12-14T06:49:00.002+08:00

Currently at Singapore's airport. Be back on Thursday. Miss me :D

2009-12-08T01:38:00.003+08:00

Haven't been seeing pictures appear on my blog huh.

Supposed to catch New Moon today, but Janice and Qr overslept. Met only in the evening for work, sales weren't good. I was frigging scared cause of something that happened, now i have phobia for old people. Jh and Cliff came to find us after work, went for supper and slacked together. Jh and Cliff sponsored cab for me to go home, thanks alot yeahhh.

[ Proof to show Jh bullying me! What happened was: we were posing to take photo, style was to act cute, and he insist that i have to tilt my head but i refused to, so he resorted to violence - tilt my head by force ]

2009-12-05T00:37:00.002+08:00

Headaches, go away!

Today was a bad day for work: Bad weather, Bad block allocated, Bad physical state that i was in. What can be worse than that? Took bus to inter, then train then another bus, when i could have taken 6, 7 straight buses to the venue! Waited at base for like an hour plus before the van came, and we started work only at 8. Sales were bad, really bad, 2boxes.

There were many hostile people and dogs that totally freaked me out.There was this auntie who was like totally fucked up. We asked her questions and it was as though we were transparent, then we got into the lift and she didn't bother pressing the open button for us, causing the box to get knocked by the lift's door, luckily it didn't hit me, otherwise... I should have thrown her footwear away! I always get greeted by dogs' barkings then the owners. Not to mention disgusting lizards. Won't be working tomorrow, exhausted and not suitable for work tomorrow cause of you-know-what. One more week to Bangkok, EXCITED much.

Head's hurting pretty badly now, i shall sleep soon. Goodnight everybody :)

2009-12-04T01:27:00.002+08:00

Back from work, I.AM.SO.TIRED. and i'm still working tomorrow.

Sales were good today i guess, but it could have been better if stocks were cleared.

My ankle and kneecap are giving me problems after walking such long distances, all thanks to me for not taking care of them when i injured them. So i'm practically a half handicap now.

Will be turning in soon cause I'm having a headache, if i have insufficient sleep tonight, i'll get worse headaches tomorrow.

ll'i reven tegorf woh hcum i dah devol uoy.

2009-12-03T02:11:00.003+08:00

Suntec, Tony Romas (sp) for dinner :D awesome, i was so full i could literally roll on the floor. Walked around, collected ice cream from Swensen's and headed home. Met Janice downstairs, JinHan (sister) came to join shortly afterwards. Been a long time since i last met up with him and he looked so tired and old, he felt so stranger to me. But the feeling was gone after some time (: Went to 85, cause Janice wanted to eat. Then headed back to my condo, sister went back first. Reached home around midnight :D

Thanks sister for you-know-what (:

2009-12-02T14:54:00.003+08:00

Laptop's back, and i can continue blogging!

But life ain't that eventful these few days, its either work, or staying at home.

All I can say is, I've changed and many people around me changed too, good or bad, i have no idea. But those who changed for the worse i'll say - Fuck off and die, we're no longer friends.

Ohwell, it depends on what that person have done too.

Probably working tomorrow, monehhhhhh!

Bangkok trip soon too, wee :D Kinda excited, and i wanna go like... NOW. LOL!

Will have to go and prepare and go out in 1half hours time and i need to pack my wardrobe. Jeesh!

2009-12-02T00:54:00.001+08:00

I.AM.FUCKING.PISSED.

2009-11-28T23:23:00.001+08:00

Haven't been blogging cause laptop's down, currently using dad's one (:
I wanna get out of Singapore asap, I don't wanna stay here. Leading a life without people i know would be nice for awhile (:
I don't know what to blog about actually.
2MORE WEEKS! :D

2009-11-04T06:47:00.002+08:00

Why am i posting at such a time? Cause i haven't friggin slept! Oh, did i mention i'm sick? Down with fever, throat and ear infection, GREAT. Not the ear piercings, is the ear. And its hurts like hell, i keep crying and i can't fall asleep cause of my damn ear. I ate two panadol EXTRA and it was friggin useless. I just became all weak and died on the bed. Now i'm so very tired, i'm gonna sleep after waking my sister up at 7. Everyone had already slept and i'm going to sleep. Woo. Thanks 'Alex' for keeping me company, although i know thats not your main motive * winks * And goodluck for later. Woo. Bye aliens (:

2009-11-03T22:36:00.001+08:00

I asked God what have i done to deserve all these.

Disappointed

2009-10-30T17:06:00.003+08:00

So... i've decided to let it go, i am really SERIOUS this time round, and i'll be able to succeed!

You lead your life and i lead mine, you happy and thats fine with me.

I used to think that i can change someone easily, but after these few months, i realised i've failed badly. I'm never gonna try to change someone anymore, this is a lesson learnt. I'm just too naive, thinking that it'll be easy to change someone. Furthermore, who am i to change you? I ain't perfect either.

Totally disappointed in you, I never knew you were such a person.

2009-10-30T01:53:00.002+08:00

I just remembered something... i haven't thank those people for celebrating my birthday.

Janice and Qiurong, i know you two spent quite a bit of time planning this, i really appreciate it alot babes :D Thank you!

And many thanks to Jinhan, Yousheng, Wayne, Cliff, Firdaus, Danial, Marcus, JingJie, Haikal, Joseph, Jolene, Jiahui and ShiHui for coming, i bet you guys spend quite a bit money on the bbq, THANK YOU.

And JinHan thanks alot uh, for burning me with that cigarette!

Thank you Jinhan, Wayne, Cliff, Janice, Jh, Qr and Qy for your presents (:

Thank you guys for planning this surprise for me, i was really surprised. Thanks for your money and time. THANK YOU!

2009-10-27T18:30:00.002+08:00

Everything's back to status quo, i'm falling in once again.

You told me you'll make it possible, look whats happening now? You're all talk and no actions. What the fuck do you want from me? I don't know how long more can i hold on. You gave me the slightest hope and then crushed it just like this. Hell, it hurts. I know you don't fucking give a damn. But i just hope things would change. Its still impossible. I'm so scared of losing you, even though you're not mine to start with. I tried very hard to tell myself you're gone.

2009-10-23T22:25:00.002+08:00

This week have been rather fine, minus those tears though.

Got our class photo today, and i think its the nicest one ever, but i look very fierce in it. I remembered that i did smile okay!

I am turning 15 soon! Janice and Jinhan can no longer disturb me, wahahaha ! :D

Thats all, bye peeps :D

Its kinda ridiculous that i can actually love and hate you so much at the same time.

2009-10-21T22:26:00.001+08:00

No amount of tears is gonna change what had happened.

How i wish this headache would just kill me so i'll never have to suffer that kind of fate. Escaping isn't the best way out, but its the only way out.
Life just seems so meaningless. Tell me, what am i gonna do next?

I can't imagine whats life gonna be next, i needa escape...

2009-10-15T22:16:00.003+08:00

EXAMS ARE OVERRRR! :D :D :D

I'm not as happy as how i thought i would be, whats wrong?

No doubt i can finally get a good night's rest, feelng all relaxed and such. But there are alot of things bothering me right now.

1. Parents
2. Myself
3. Studies
4. 'Friends'

Why do i have such parents? I know i'm gonna look like some unfilial children talking bad about her parents on my blog, but i just have to get it out. No one understands, or at least my parents don't understand. Its not the first time i'm crying because of my parents, but what can i do? I've tried to be the good daughter i used to be, all i ask for is the nice parents i used to have. This year is really a bad year for me. My dad, he has never ever slapped me before. But until this year, he has already slapped me for quite a few times. He even asked me not to go home and such. And indeed, i left home once, but i went back shortly after. It may seem like nothing, but you have no idea how much it hurts when i hear you saying such things. For goodness sake, i am your daughter. Is this how you treat your daughter by asking her to leave? and i'm already 15, but why do i feel like a 8 year old kid, controlled by my parents no matter what i do. Sometimes i'm just so jealous bout my other friends who have understanding and nice parents. I'm not comparing mine w others, all i ask for is just some understanding. I've been so stress about my exams because of my parents, i can even cry while studying. But my parents don't understand, all they do is say your results come back not good i'll blahblahblah, blahblahblah. Why have i never heard you saying if your results good, i'll blahblahblah? I would say i have already put in my best, but my parents do not believe me. Probably, i am just a useless daughter in your eyes, or probably i can't even be compared to a maid. And i feel that you are treating me like a maid than a daughter? Is this how i should feel? If this is how you treat me, i won't think its my fault, its yours. Since you chose to give birth to me, you are supposed to take care of me, then why does it always seem like its never your duty?

Sighs, why does problems have to come one after another? It never rains, but pours.

2009-10-13T20:49:00.002+08:00

Things are probably much better. Although i've not succeed yet, i know i'm almost there. We'll just be friends now. You, take care of yourself and stop harming your body and i'll be hapy w that.

2009-10-10T21:09:00.002+08:00

Because it seems like up till now i don't understand you at all. Or perhaps, i've never really knew/understand who you are. Can i trust you? You often say i do'nt trust you, but look at the lies you've told me, how can i ever trust you again. Its tough, really tough. I don't know whats gonna happen next, i'll never know. I'm never able to guess whats on your mind, and i don't like this. Should i let go?....

Takecare of yourself please.

2009-10-06T17:34:00.002+08:00

I've been studying out late everyday, i'll only be at home after 10.
I can study at home, but i don't want because being alone reminds me of you. I have to constantly keep myself busy so i won't think of you. Not successful i would say ):
I'm gonna try to let go, yes i will, no matter how much tears.

Met JunXian twice recently to slack (: HAHA

2009-09-25T22:25:00.002+08:00

And so... i haven't been blogging for quite some time O:
Ohwell, school's been fine, there's no problems. 'cept that exams are putting a hell load of stress on me, damnnnn.
And 've seen the true colours of some people, its kinda unbelieveable, and whats contradicting is that, it is the truth.
I may not like how you(s) are behaving, but because you are my friend, i'm gonna act as though i know nothing although i'll treat you differently. Think it over... life ain't about you.
hate... wouldn't be the word to describe, i guess its just dislike.

and yeah, you're treating me real nice now, kinda unbelieveable, but i'm happy 'bout it, i hope things stay this way though (:

AND JASON'S BIRTHDAY WAS ON 23RD SEPTEMBER I FORGOT TO WISH YOU AHPPY BIRTHDAY CAUSE IDK HOW AND I CAN'T CONTACT YOU ): I MISS YOU LIKE HELLLL, WHERE ARE YOUUU? EMAIL ME WHEN YOU SEE THIS (:

2009-09-16T22:34:00.003+08:00

Insomnia is back to haunt me again, fcukr ):
I've been having two sleepless nights, cause i just couldn't friggin fall asleep no matter how tired i was. But its a good thing i guess, then i'll be able to study in the night. But how am i gonna survive the next morning in school, thats another tough question.

So i guess school was rather fine today, i can't help but reflect on is this what i really want, will it be like how i expected, am i gonna be hurt again. I DON'T KNOW! i know i'm stupid to land myself into this shit again. like the tv show, people get into this kinda situation, they get themself out asap, but what about me, i just stupidly let myself fall in the same situation OVER AND OVER AGAIN. yeah, i'm probably the most stupid idiot anyone have came across. ):

But once again, i just can't control. I shall leave things as it is now, and not hope for too much. The bigger the hope, the bigger the disappointment. But i seriously hope i'll be able to change you.

kinda proud of myself cause i studied quite abit today ^^ went Bedok macs to study w qr after school and the rain was heavy like hell, i was quite drenched and it was friggin cooooollllld. Wait for the rain to stop before we could cross over to Macs, then studied for 2hrs plus and homed :D did my chemistry homework and here i am. And i totally regret being the SS rep, i'm gonna get hell from MrsHo, DAMNNN ):

so am i just toilet paper to you, like what F said?

2009-09-16T00:02:00.001+08:00

I DON'T WANNA BE LIKE THIS EITHER

2009-09-13T20:48:00.002+08:00

last day of September holidays already, and the bad thing is i'm falling sick -.- what a time to fall sick just when school reopens tomorrow. Sore throat, headache, flu. This is definitely killing me, and i'm always feeling so tired. I'm not mentally prepared for school yet, i can't accept the fact the one week holiday's gone, and that school starts tomorrow ): thats lke pretty sad isn't it. I'll be going school PROVIDED my sore throat doesn't get worse ):

I shall go take some flu medicine then off to sleep :D

Note to self: Don't ever reply *'s texts anymore!!

2009-09-07T23:17:00.002+08:00

Today was another day out! ^^ been going out these few days huh, gonna stay at home the next few days to do hardcore studying!!
Down to Orchard StripSchool for girls' stuff, no not stripping. Something else (: with, Janice, qr, Jh, Jolene. Was pretty nervous at the start, but overall quite okay. The pain was still bearable.
While waiting for Jh and Jolene to be done, i had headache once again. That freakin excruciating pain could have killed me right on the spot and i was so desperate for painkillers. It got better after awhile, went for dinner and the excruciating pain came back, could've went to slack, but the pain was killing me, so went home instead.
After a nice cool bathe and home, the pain wasn't there anymore. While eating my dessert, the excruciating pain came back then i lost my appetite -.- took panadol extra and here i am.
I should convince my mother to bring me to the hospital and get some scans before it gets too late. Headaches are like an everything thing already, and i can't just depend on painkillers.
Here i am blogging, will be turning in pretty soon.

OHOH, i miss GeraldLeeJinRong, is that his full name? Not sure-.- harhar.
Haven't seen him like years cause he's in Jakarta and we're talking now. The old primary school times, the party we had at his house, the scene whereby both me and yuzhi were so afraid of his dog! LOL I miss those times alot ):

and, i don't think i should hate her cause she didn't do anything bad to me right ;D

2009-09-05T23:57:00.002+08:00

Jowen ( my baby brother)

(random)

Been a rather long time since i post, lazy huh, can't help it.

Tuesday went out, with the usual gang, watched " Where Got Ghost" damn funny xD then to 85 market for dinner, stingray. Wednesday had prelims till very late, steamboat for dinner ;D

Thursday celebrate wy's birthday at Seoul Garden, was damnnn full. Spent like 30 bux at Popular, thats like alotttt ): friday which was yesterday was veryvery fun.

Totally a last minute plan (:

Homed to bathe and change then met Haikal, Zl, Firdaus, Amos, Jingjie, Qr and Jan. Marcus, Jinhan and Yousheng came halfway thru. Played pool, i definitely suck at it ):

Played till 5 plus 6, some left. Leaving me, Jan, Qr, Haikal, Firdaus, Jingjie, Jinhan. Went for dinner.Oh yah, i saw gangster Samuel. Tsktsk. Went Sunplaza park after dinner and we had ghost story session, damn creepy i was damn freaked out. Haikal boo Janice, and i screamed damn loud -.- then we talked bout random stuffs, funny, paiseh, r/s, phobia, etc. I swear it was damndamndamn fun. Should have another session like this! ^^ Firdaus calls this class bonding altho Jh's not from our class xP

Firdaus sent me home cause i was damn freaked out after the ghost story session, thanks alot yo brother! ;D

Today had physics remedial, din't want to go at first, but eventually went ;D lunch with jh and wy then met mother then home ;D slept till dinner time. Watched The Fast And The Furious, the green car with green lights is so damn fcuking chio!

2009-08-19T21:28:00.004+08:00

Lies

I hate it when people lie to me, i hate liars, thats probably something that i detest the most. I cannot stand it when people lie to me. If you know me well, you'll know, don't ever lie to me, cause thats what i hate most.
Don't ever lie to me, cause i'll never ever trust you ever again. I may not show it, but its impossible for me to fully trust you anymore.
Is it that tough to tell the truth ? Isn't it tiring having to think of lies?

Its just some random stuffs, not about me (:
Went over to C's house w H, S, J and S today. Studied, homed around 7 plus.
Now i'm so tired, and i'm aching all over , i'm gonna break into pieces soon ):
How can i get rid of my headaches!? D: they are giving me a tough time in school.

2009-08-17T21:18:00.002+08:00

I've been getting dizzy spells ): there's something really wrong.
Headaches totally spoil my mood in school too, but what can i do about it ?
So school was rather fine today, dnt time passed very quickly too, i was veryvery enthu today, i cut my dolphin into half -.-
Had test duing higher chinese, i think i'm gonna fail, its damn difficult D:
Headed to Renaldo's to eat first, then to Charlyn's house, supposed to study, and i didn't. Slacked and sleeped, homed around 6 plus. This friggin group of guys are so childish and disgrace please -.- gay shit.
I'm gonna wake up early, and go to school early tomorrow. I've been going to school right on the dot, and i don't like it. I rather go early :D so i'm gonna wake up at 5.30, which means i'm gonna sleep soon.

Goodnight! :D :D :D

2009-08-14T18:24:00.002+08:00

I am so so so tireddddddd. After posting, i'm probably off to bed :D yeah call me a pig for all you want. But remember this, its takes a uglier pig to call me a pig xD
School was rather fine i guess, rather short day today. Had Chinese Karaoke after school, some of them are awesome. LCS made a joke out of herself -.- she's so noisy! But she's funny, i would love her if she hadn't give me more than 7 pink papers and catching my attire everytime she sees me -.-
There's something veryveryvery wrong with me right now.
I didn't take breakfast and lunch today, went Blue Sea to eat around 3plus. Oh wait, my head was hurting like hell, i could have died. I couldn't finish what i ordered, felt damn bloated, giddy and nauseous. Whats wrong? I think i have some weird illness, i'm gonna die. Miss me if I'm gone ): The hydrochloric acid in my stomach is making me damn unwelllllll.

Happy hour tomorrow :D then Evelyn and co. will be coming over for a swim i guess. We're gonna have fun :D :D :D
The only problem is i'm broke like hell, how am i going to get money overnight? Thats a tough question :/

2009-08-13T21:13:00.002+08:00

I'm so tireddddd, oh wait that's not the main point. HAHAHA, okay, so-not-funny.
I skipped school today, cause i was way too tired i can't even open my eyes to type a msg -.- how more retarded can i get O:
I woke up around 10plus, lazed around then went out around 2plus to school to meet Janice and co. Headed over to tidbits first for drink and snacks (: Jh, remember our diet plan! :D

Went over to Simei w Janice for her to repair her phone, see i'm so nice, if i didn't go to school to meet them, she would have to go alone. Say i'm nice yo ^^
Happy hour this weekend, yayness :D i'm just worried i won't have enough monehhhh -.-

I have english homework to doooo D: and i don't look forward to Fowler's class, i don't really like him, he's weird.
I've been thinking why do i have so little tags, then i realised i'm the one not replying -.-
Reply to Jinhan: ownself go find la, i'm lazy :X

Tag moreeeeee xD

Okay, i need to get to my friggin' english homework, after that needa study and i still have to mop the floor D: Ohwelll.
My headache's are back, gosh. And i wanna see a brain specialist, what if i have brain tumour/ cancer or something scary Dx but i'm poor :X

P.s/ I LOVE MY RED EARPIECE (L)

And i've put the jerk right at the back of my head, and i'm never gonna be soft hearted anymore, he no longer matters (:

2009-08-10T18:02:00.002+08:00

My headache's gonna kill me really soon ):
Y' know what, i've decided not to hate/dislike anyone from this point of time onwards.Why, you may ask. Reasons being:

by hating/disliking someone, you'll only make yourself feel worse
angry because of what this person does
whatever this person does seems bad to you, no matter what it is

Whats the point of hating/disliking someone, when in the end, you'll only make yourself more unhappy. So from now on, no matter what people do, i'll not hate or dislike that person. I'll just not talk to that person, as though that person is transparent, and whatever they do, don't hurt me AT ALL.

This song definite describes what's happening now :

You're Not Sorry - Taylor Swift

All this time I was wasting,
Hoping you would come around
I've been giving out chances every time
And all you do is let me down
And it's taking me this long
Baby but I figured you out
And you're thinking we'll be fine again,
But not this time around

You don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did - before
You're not sorry, no no ohhh

Looking so innocent,
I might believe you if I didn't know
Could've loved you all my life
If you hadn't left me waiting in the cold
And you got your share of secrets
And I'm tired of being last to know
And now you're asking me to listen
Cause it's worked each time before

But you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did - before
You're not sorry, no no, ohhh
You're not sorry no no ohhh

You had me falling for you honey
And it never would've gone away, no
You used to shine so bright
But I watched all of it fade
So you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
There's nothing left to beg for
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did - before
You're not sorry, no no ohhh
You're not sorry, no no ohhh

Its a very very nice song ^^

2009-08-10T16:09:00.003+08:00

I'm not gonna say out which jerk this is but, seriously i think you should just go fuck the wall and go to hell! Is it just something fucking wrong with your brain, or do you even fucking have a heart? I chose to believ you, no matter what people around me may say about you, I FUCKING CHOSE TO TRUST YOU. What turns out is, you're still fucking lying, lying as though its already part of your daily routine. You're gonna die without lying right? It takes more lies to freaking cover up one lie, aren't you tired of having to think of lies? Can't you just fucking be someone with a heart, someone who fucking has emotions, i doubt you have any, anyway. If i have the opportunity, i'ld definitely give you ONE TIGHT SLAP on your face, wait... like you'ld ever wake up, i just hope you will get knock down by a lorry. I'm never ever gonna be soft heart towards you anymore, i'm never gonna fucking trust you anymore. I'm gonna delete you from my contacts, and i'll never ever talk to you anymore. THIS IS THE END, I HAD ENOUGH.
All those i love you, i'll never do it again etcetc THEY ARE ALL LIES.
You really need some slaps from those people whom you've cheated.

2009-08-09T23:42:00.003+08:00

I hate you, really.
I hate all those lies. I hate lies that people always tell me.
Why must all of you tell me lies? Can't you just friggin tell the truth.
Don't act like somebody whom you're not, you know you're not and i'll know that you're not. I hate you!
When will people learn to tell the truth? Is it really that tough?
If you're gonna tell me you lied cause you didn't want to hurt me, i can only tell you that now i know you've been lying all these while, it hurts even more.
Stop putting on that fucking mask and be yourself.

supposedly day out w Janice, Evelyn and Jh
turned out to be day out with Janice, Evelyn, Zohri, Zaki, Hakim, Joseph, (unknown)
how cool can that be
reflections time now
i hate people who lie to me, betray my trust. if you're one of them, kindly fuck out of my life tyvm, i won't wanna know someone who's gonna hurt me sooner or later with their lies.

2009-08-08T19:01:00.004+08:00

Yesterday was cross country and after that went out w Charlyn and Jieyi.
Went to Charlyn's house to bathe first w Jieyi, J, H, and A. Then headed to Katong for singing session (:
After the guys left we had bitching session (: not exactly, it was more of a heart to heart talk, i got everything off my heart and i definitely felt better. Thanks babes :D
Lets go out soon another time together and bitch! xD
All of us definitely matured alot, all of us changed. You cannot imagine how childish we were one year ago man, shouting and attitude each other. 'm glad we're no longer like this (:

I totally regret br***ing up w L the other time, it was totally on impulse and i was so not mature at that point of time. I'm sorry if i had hurt you ):

I went Tampines today and saw Jx at Century Square, been a long time since i last saw him man O: i'm gonna ask him out soon! hahaha :/
Homed around 4 plus, i'm veryvery tired and i've no idea why. I actually fell asleep when my cousins were talking to me in my room last night -.-

I'm so tired of lies.
I wonder how some people can tell lies as though they were the truth.
I hate it when i trust someone and that person end up deceiving me.
It is just so difficult to know who's the one telling the truth and who's the one lying. This sucks, totally.

2009-08-06T22:30:00.002+08:00

i shan't elaborate what happened today, overall its more bad than good.
one thing i'm glad bout myself is, i went to school today, even though i was damn reluctant to do so (: i would have skipped if it was the old me.
ohwell, i went out w J,C, S, H, S today. totally not planned, it was kinda last minute.
i just reached home not long ago, and i'm damn friggin tired, i have to wake up earlier tomorrow cause its cross country, i'm gonna sleep soon :D

I have to keep telling myself not to be soft hearted and not to be cheated by you again.

2009-07-30T22:42:00.002+08:00

I am berry berry tired, but am going to update my blog before sleeping (:
I was late for school yesterday cause i overslept, i woke up at 830, i had no idea how i overslept when i made 5 alarms O:
School's fine, i'm happy cause i passed my lit quiz and presentation, B3, i'll be happier if its A :D

ohwell, life sucks i guess. i really need to learn to be optimistic or i'm gonna suffer from depression real soon and you'll see me jumping off the school building O:
kinda feel better after letting all out, phew :D
tomorrow's friday ^^ then weekends.
but sunday is Mass CIP, we'll have to carry 24x250ml of milo packets and walk around somerset, wow, thats gonna kill, its is DAMN heavy O:

i'm really gonna sleep now, tadaaaaa.

2009-07-26T22:43:00.002+08:00

you know what, i went out today! (:
yeah, and i'm really tired now, but i decided to blog. and its very difficult to type when i cannot use my left index finger, i feel kind of handicapped O:
original plan didn't work out, went to Sh's house instead. Counselled her, and Jh help me do tarot reading, i believe in it and its really accurate. I'll do what it tells me to (:
Sh's mommy treated us to dinner ^^ then we headed to BBS, the shopkeeper ask me to pass the things that i was holding from the shop, and she followed us wherever went, HELLO WHICH PART OF ME LOOK LIKE A THIEF TO YOU? SINCE YOU'RE SO WORRIED, DON'T OPEN A SHOP THEN -.-
off to PrimeMart to get some food and girls' stuff, then homed around 10.
this weird auntie came to talk to me, scared the hell outta me!

2009-07-25T16:18:00.002+08:00

And yeah, a week is gone just like this..
Nothing special happened O: and i only went school thrice this week O:
Went Bedok Macs to do homework with E, B joined us later on and he's pretty retarded.
And i just friggin cut my finger with a chopper, no wait, my finger is still intact, no worries, jusr a cut with alot of blood, now i have a cute blue elephant on my finger, its a plaster anyway :/

You'll never know how much it hurts deep down,

how much i love you,

how badly i want you,

and how often i miss you.

I can never see my existence in your eyes.

2009-07-22T20:34:00.002+08:00

Glad to say, i've given up. My heart's dead, i'm not gonna bother bout what you're gonna do to yourself, do all the bad things for all you want. I'm no longer gonna care. I can see that you've never ever loved me right from the start, i was all along a tool for you. Thank you for hurting me. All these are gonna end, i'm not gonna believe all your lies anymore. I should have heeded my friends' advice right from the start. I want nothing to do with you anymore.

2009-07-21T19:48:00.002+08:00

I went to school yesterday even though my throat hurts like hell, and i drank three bottles of water in school. Thanks papa :D
well, sad to say i'm sick. told my parents i was having a bad sore throat, then took my temperature and realised i was having a fever.
Head down to visit the doctor at serangoon, can you believe i wait 2hours just to friggin see a doctor -.-
I almost cried because i was feeling damn unwell and sleepy and the doctor was taking yearsssss, i could have died waiting for the doctor -.-
I was so worried that i was having H1N1 and i had majority of the symptoms, but luckily, doctor said its not, so YAY :D

he said it was something in my throat that is very swollen and that its very serious, should the pus break why on earth is there pus in my throat -.-), i would have to get an injection, and thats a total NO-NO, imma scared of injections!! i have about 8 packets of medicine, the doctor issued me the medicine as though they were free man. and so, 72 bucks gone, not i pay also :X so nevermind :D

I'm given two days mc and i desperately wanna go to school ): i wanted to go today, but my throat hurts wayy too much, i decided to stay at home to rest.
I decided to go to school tomorrow (: although the doctor told me to stay at home to rest :/
andand, my throat feels alot better now compared to yesterday when i couldn't even drink water O:

note to self: bring lozenges and honey water to school.

2009-07-19T11:18:00.004+08:00

Because i need you way too much, much more than what i expected

792925

2009-07-13T19:01:00.001+08:00

Never felt so bad before, i feel like dying, nono its just because i wanna escape from all these problems. If you ask whether i'm afraid of dying, i'll tell you no. I'll die immediately if need be.
I'm sick and tired of this shit, really, but there's nothing i can do about it.
I never ever fulfill my promises to myself, i suck big time ):

2009-07-12T22:52:00.002+08:00

Gah, i can't friggin explain how happy and elated i am now! (: I finished my frigging journal, research, literature project and survey, so friggin happy :D
And i love Jinhan and Janice to the MAX man, they help me print so many stuffs especially janice ^^ LOVE YOU GUYS (:

I'm so tired now, i'm gonna die sooooon.
Note to self : Bring panadols to school, and ic.

2009-07-12T15:15:00.000+08:00

FTS!!

2009-07-11T14:38:00.003+08:00

Ignore my previous post, i was crazy! O:
Caught Transformers w J and ZL yesterday, damn awesome (:
ZL's parents fetched us home, his parents are damn nice, and his mother is damn cute, she's more like a friend than mother, yes i'm jealous ):

I got to know something i don't really wanna know, am i just thinking too much? ohwell, screw you anyway.
and i hate people who lie to me the most, more than anything else, but i actually forgived you for it, what am i thinking !?

Gah, i got tons of homework, i'm supposed to stay at home this weekend! but i think i'm going Bugis later. Hms (:

2009-07-08T23:07:00.002+08:00

I'm so tired right now, everything's so wrong, so wrong.
Academic wrong, relationship wrong, family wrong. How am i supposed to cope w all these?
I won't be able to take it, i'm gonna break down sooner or later, i had enough.
Don't make me jump off that friggin building, end up in the coffin before you realised that i actually exist and that i actually have feelings.
You can never understand me, never ever understand how much i worry about you and how often i am thinking of you daily, you'll never ever understand. To you, i'm perhaps just a toy, or just a creature who don't have feelings. I give in to you no matter what, its just for a simple reason. Why can people around you sense it, and not you? You, the one involved, yet you totally do not sense anything, why ? I may laugh, i may smile, but it definitely do not show how i really feel, my heart's tearing apart, it hurts, really. What must i do, or what can i do to make you show that you realised i actually i exist ? Must i end up in the hospital, before you come over and show me that you care? Or maybe, you'll not even care.
Sigh, i'm confused, and i'm tired of all these. Really...

2009-07-04T17:02:00.003+08:00

Ohwell, my gastric hurts like helllllll, yah whatever blame it on me for skipping meals for like 3-5days in a row, HMS.
Realised there are people around me who cares about me, and treats me very nice, thanks yeah (: jh, thank you for last night (:

So, now i'll hope that you'll come over, altho chances are low, but well...

2009-07-03T21:56:00.002+08:00

i'll do it, even thought i know i'll get hurt, but because i love you, i have no choice.
i will not suspect you again, i'll trust you.

2009-06-30T21:31:00.002+08:00

I'm really very sick and tired of guessing what you're thinking

and what you want.

If i have to have you and then lose you shortly after,

i'd rather not have you.

Stop torturing me please.

2009-06-28T20:27:00.001+08:00

wellwellwell, school's tomorrow, i'm not prepared for it, but i'm kinda excited ^^
i can see my friends! :D
i went to C's house to do some homework w J, supposed to do D&T, but ended up only completing Maths Paper 2, and i totally hate the new timetable, two periods of chinese, screw TLC! aluh, 20jb and 2 ydbg totally undone, major coolness, ha. i feel like a jerk.
and wth does that potato looks like! J was bitching about him, i wanna know what he looks like luh! don't tell me potato! haa.

its time i sort out my damn feelings!
hate is hate, love is love, like is like, all DIFFERENT things, i have to stick to what i planned to do, don't like means don't like and stop lying to myself.
ohwell, guys are jerks!

2009-06-27T14:05:00.002+08:00

after tomorrow its gonna be school time ! D: kinda reluctant yet excited man.
i'll definitely love to see my friends, but not the stress, homework and teachers.
yes, i haven't started on my homework :X ohwell, idk what to say about me man. gah
i want you.. heh

2009-06-25T21:06:00.002+08:00

Gah, i miss Brownie (dog) alot ! D: Heartpain when i saw the way she reacted when we left yesterday :/
OHOH, and i caught Drag Me To Hell yesterday, like FINALLY (: its damn friggin scary and gross, i covered my mouth to stop myself from screaming man :X i wanna watch more horror! O:
3 more days to school, aww man, i bet 90percent of the school haven't finish their homework, HAA.

Literature Project
20 jianbao, and 2 book review
D&T coursework journal
Maths worksheet
POA worksheet

Its definitely impossible to finish :/ HA.
Ohwell, i can only blame myself for being so lazy thinking that there will always be the next tomorrow ): HA.

2009-06-25T00:00:00.002+08:00

Well, class chalet was rather fun ! :D
But it could have been better if more were there :/
BBQ was the best part on first day , then watched The Grudge 2 which is so not nice ):
Homed and 10plus to sleep then went back on the second day.

Was rotting in the room for like few hours, then headed to Escape, played few rides, haunted house then came back, watch show, Vanished. " Give me back my thumb! "
People like Azhar, Zulri(?),Ahmed(?), Khairul(?), Ali(?) , Hakim came over, ha.
And that stupid retard Azhar keep hitting me, and he even cracked my toe, accidentally. ROAR.

I LOVE 3/5 (:

2009-06-24T23:36:00.001+08:00

I LOVE THREE-FIVE ! :D :D :D

threefive rocks ! (:

www.three-fivee.blogspot.com

2009-06-19T19:41:00.002+08:00

Blah , how i wish holidays get extended! ^^ pleaseeeeeee.
okay, i'm currently very hungry waiting for the pizza delivery to arrive, ):
Prolly reaching around 8.10 , thats what they claim :X so i shall be patient (:
Oh, and my baby brother vomitted milk just now, okay thats totally not related.
Off to tv, BYE ^^